Life Lessons with Eric

You went to the Air Force. There's no way it was easy, right?

Wasn't easy but it was some of the best times I ever had. Plus…I worked 9 to 5 most of the time, lol. Sure sometimes we deployed but even that was fun. I was experiencing things that most people never get to experience. Plus, don't forget one crucial difference. I was government property! Once I signed up I had no choice except for jail. Court martial. A non-choice!

Life is complicated, E….add to that I'm still dealing with breaking up with my gf and surrounding myself with a bunch of idiots who I think I might shake off sometime soon.

Sure, Ash, life is complicated but sometimes we over-complicate it by the choices we make. Life is also short. However, that being said, this time period is one short time period in your life (hopefully) that will just be one stop on the road that takes you where you want to be. The problem is that maybe you're not sure you're on the right road. And nobody hardly ever is.

Kids my age have their whole fucking lives planned out…

Sure they think they do. Except for nine times out of ten those kids hit age 50 and realize how miserable and unhappy they've been and how "stuck" they feel. They feel regret that they've "wasted their lives" doing something that they chose too quickly. I know that you think of a lot of successful and "happy" people who have spent their lives doing the thing they love most but that is just a function of those things that stand out in our memory. It is not typical. Those kids who "have their lives planned out…" have no true advantage over you. What happens when the plan doesn't go according to plan?! Can they adapt? Can they overcome? Screw worrying about about how it is for other people. The grass is never truly greener on the other side.

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The other idiots get happy in their 9-5 typical jobs.

You're being judgemental buddy. It's not fair to assume that everybody is "happy in their 9 to 5 jobs" and thus them being happy in something so mundane makes them an idiot. Not everybody looks at it the same way. To some people they may not be thrilled with their job but they may be comfortable and content in their job. They may even find satisfaction in it. But that may not be where they seek happiness. I, for one, am very happy working out in the sun doing something that at the end of the day I can look at it and say "I accomplished something today. I did good work and now I can look on the the results and be proud of it." That does not mean I am fulfilling my passion, necessarily, but that I can see value in it and see the advantages of it. At the same time, I might simply do something that I "like" in a regular every day job, just to be able to spend all my free time doing something I LOVE. So, from that perspective, spending ALL my time in some money-making CAREER as opposed to "just a job" would be the opposite of happy. What you are seeking is BIG TIME CAREER THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY. And that maybe why you are so doubtful.


And look at both things you said in the same pm:


I'm just another yuppie idiot.
The other idiots get happy in their 9-5 typical jobs.


Examine your thought pattern. I don't think any of this has to do with career. I think it has to do something you feel is important. Maybe important in a larger way than just important to you. I could be wrong but if your not "another yuppie idiot" and you're not "an idiot who is happy in his 9-5 job" then what kind of idiot is left? Well, there is the James Cameron style idiot who is so mighty impressed with himself because the things he does are so might damned impressive. And there is the everyday hero who quietly labors to add something to the world. Add to our sum of knowledge. Make the world better in some way. Etc and so on. I know that you want money so you can do those kinds of things. But yet you are not happy seeking a career where…you are not doing those kinds of things! Trap.


Ash, I'm a working class dude. I'm not white-collar and I've never wanted to be white-collar. Sure, I've worked those kinds of jobs here and there. But to me, there are things I love and there are jobs. One thing to never forget…all those people working the 9-5 are the people who make the world liveable for me and you! That guy working 9 to 5 to maintain the sewer system is what stands between you and dysentary or worse, lol, so never think he isn't doing great things!

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Eric why would you think that way about me :-(

I'm not accusing you of anything. I'm trying to say that there is satisfaction in doing something that is valuable. It is a choice how to look at it.

And I dunno why you are grouping all 9-5 jobs as non-white-collar. You do know that Finance jobs are also 9-5, right? Sure Investment Bankers work 24x7 but the rest of them don't. I wasn't talking about 9-5 as some sort of economic differentiation group or something. I meant 9-5 as in that typical 9-5 who only wants that 9-5 and nothing more - this means nothing even on the side (read: no passion whatsoever).

I'm not, lol. However, many of those jobs you are talking about are 9-5 in words only. Is it really 9 to 5 when you take it home with you and spend the night getting ready for the next day's meeting or presentation? And there is the "white-collar" 9 to 5 where you never move up and there is reality…which says if you ONLY word 9 to 5 you go nowhere. But you are relating everything I say to something you said too much. I was telling you about myself.

I meant 9-5 as in that typical 9-5 who only wants that 9-5 and nothing more - this means nothing even on the side (read: no passion whatsoever).

I get that but so what? Not everyone needs BIG things to make them happy. Talking about myself and myself only again, you know my motto is "Don't sweat the small stuff and appreciate the little things"? I don't look for happiness because of what I DO. Talking about myself and myself only. Because looking for happiness in what I do is looking for happy with a capital H. Big happy. Big happy never happens. It's a myth. This is part of what I've been trying to get across. A lot of people, when they say "I'm happy" in a general way, they mean they are satisfied, content, comfortable, secure, etc.


Those people who only want the 9 to 5 and are happy with that, and they don't have some over-riding passion..well they may well be satisfied, content, comfortable, secure, etc. What's the difference between them and a person who is seeking BIG happy? Those people, are happy some of the time and the other guy, searching for Big happy and never finding it is always miserable. Because nobody is happy all the time…except idiots, lol. At the end of the day, life is a lot of little things that are good. Very few big things. All the littlle things and the big thing, if you appreciate them for the moment, as they come, adds up to….happiness.
I'm not trying to give you advice. I'm discussing.

Don't misunderstand me, E. I am not some snobbish elitist and I'm not saying this like those guys who have plead to not being racist coz they have one token black friend.

I don't think anything like that. It really doesn't matter what you say. I don't judge people, Ash. It's not my place to judge people. There is nothing you could say that could shock me because I've seen too many things, thought too many things.


The reason I brought up blue collar jobs was to try to equate that everyday appreciation of the little things we accomplish with a larger sense of happiness. You know, a lot of these people you are talking about, if you think about it, the difference between being happy or not happy in what you do is a function of how jaded you are. I've known guys that do a job for years and years and after a while they just hate it. The bitch and moan and complain and act like they are the only ones who have to deal with the realities of a job. They are jaded and cynical and they just get by and get a paycheck. And then there are other guys who do that same job, and never lose that sense of pride in what they do. They strive for perfection. They run their fingers over the thing they've created. They look on at a job well done and smile to themselves. Then they go home at the end of a 9 to 5 day, have a beer, hang out with their buddies. Enjoy their family. Maybe go fishing on the weekends. And ALL of it's meaningful to them. All of it counts. They live in the moment. That doesn't mean they are idiots and don't plan for the future, but that they don't look over the horizon for happiness. Instead they recognize happiness when it comes and relish it. Live in it. When they laugh the REALLY laugh. And enjoy laughing. When they hug their family and friends hello they really hug them, and never stop reflecting on how lucky they are to have them. Nothing goes unnoticed and unappreciated. Little vexations have no power over this. You can't rock a guy like that. That's the guy you want at your back and that's the guy you want in a crisis. So, a guy like that, what does he need with passion? Nothing is a big deal, everything counts. Do things because you want to do them. Because you see value in them. Don't worry about what it says about you. Your heart won't let you become a man you do not want to be.